26 Jan Teen Stress and being labelled a Snowflake
Have you ever heard of the term ‘snowflake generation’ and what it means in terms of teen stress?
If you’ve never heard the phrase before then you might be thinking of pretty wintery scenes or dancing in the snow, but unfortunately it paints a rather different picture. It’s an image that doesn’t present a badge of honour and is actually quite negative. Being labelled a snowflake can add to the stress of being a teenager because it implies that you melt at the slightest thing, be it a new task, trouble or confrontation. It suggests a weakness and a lack of resilience.
Snowflakes fall down but you will rise back up
We’ve talked about resilience before and how being resilient gives you the ability to recover, get better and move on from difficult circumstances. It’s about being able to bounce back from your struggles and there are some easy ways to build strength from resilience shared here [add link to second tips blog].
The kid who feels no emotional upset when bad stuff happens is not displaying resilience, it’s the kid who fails miserably, feels like crap, wants to scream and shout, run and hide and survives to play another day without being resentful or blaming the world or blaming other people. And this kid – you may have been there – can attract the snowflake marker, which can bring with it nervousness, self-doubt and even self-loathing. And whilst these emotions are quite normal for teenagers to experience they bring unwanted stress. But you can reverse the affects of the snowflake.
“You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it.”
Make snowflake meltdowns a thing of the past
I have been part of this so-called snowflake generation. If you let the negativity associated with the term become believable it’s not a good place to be in, believe me, I lived the life for a long time before building my own resilience and bouncing back.
Melt downs, breakdowns, high anxiety, depression, even suicidal thoughts, come from believing that everything that’s happening to you is out of your control. You think ‘it’s not my fault, I have no power to make it stop, other people make my life miserable’ but these thoughts are not new thoughts, they’re not unique, and they certainly are not new to you, you’re not the first person to have thought them.
The powerful antidote is when you realise these thoughts are not true. They’re a bunch of lies and with the right mindset you can discover how to have life happen for you and not to you. Take back control in your life, in your thoughts and in the way that you feel – how amazing is that going to be? Think of all the cool stuff you will achieve.
Change is natural and an unavoidable part of life but once you accept that this is normal life can be valued. You will learn lessons, yes, but you will blossom from these lessons, even if they seem harsh at the time. Life’s experiences will help you to remember the amazing gifts and strengths that you have so you can share them with your friends and family and look forward to having an amazing future.
When you realise that you’ve accidentally been giving away your power you can quickly and easily seize it back and live life on your terms. You will learn and grow and bounce back when you need to and your personality and love for life will grow. I can help to show you how.
“The future lies before you, like a field of fallen snow. Be careful how you tread it, for every step will show.”
Take a close look at your social circle
A huge part in stepping away from the snowflake label is to look at your social support network. Who are you closest to and how do you connect with the people around you? If the right people are not with you then it’s easy to soak up unhelpful narratives, a bit like a sponge soaks up water. If this happens, you are at risk of believing those lies we touched on earlier. Your peer group is everything. A supportive, positive and enthusiastic group of friends and an encouraging family will make a real difference in how you view your self-worth – how you see yourself brimming with confidence.
So how do you find the people that will support you? Well, if you take a long look at the people you spend your time with it will show you your life. Think about that, because it’s important. What’s your life looking like right now if you carry on hanging around with the kids you’re hanging around with? Do you see future opportunities or do you see a road that leads nowhere?
Consider keeping a journal and make notes on what has happened each day. Which friends and family members make you feel good about yourself and who do you enjoy being around? And who doesn’t…
Think about how you manage your emotions. They are an everyday part of life and whether they appear positive or negative, every single emotion has a gift for us to learn from, something we can grow from, and something we can aspire to. Your peer group will often share the same emotions so make sure they are positive and that you are able to develop a passion for life from them. If this isn’t the case, then change your peer group.
“Never sacrifice three things: your family, your heart or your dignity.”
What next steps can you take?
There’s so much information to share with you in our blog articles for young people, to help you to discover your bright spark, to ignite your true potential and I look forward to seeing you grow, hearing your breakthroughs and if I’m lucky enough, being able to speak to you personally and maybe work with you either in a group or individually as a coaching session.
Please do share your thoughts, experiences and challenges and ask any questions or leave comments on the blog articles or listen to our podcasts.
It would be great if you would connect with me to continue developing a strong character, I’m always available to answer your questions:
You are amazing – never forget that, even if you feel like a snowflake at times.