16 Sep How to find hope at the end of the tunnel even when things seem hopeless
If you’re a teenager who has been bullied then you might recognise emotions of disconnection, loneliness and thinking that nobody will ever be on your side. In this blog, we’re going to look at how there is light at the end of the tunnel, how to find hope and how to celebrate what makes you as an individual. Whether you are being bullied or you are a bully, we’re going to show you that there is an end point to destructive behaviour and always something to look forward to.
To help us, we’re going to be finding out more from a very special young lady called Emma.
Here is her story.
Struggling to fit in
I’ve been to a lot of schools. Every couple of years, I would move schools and so fitting in and finding long term friends was something I had never really experienced.
When I turned 13, my parents decided to move to Ireland from Nottinghamshire. School started mid-way through September and by the 22 October I had my first broken bone. It was completely unprovoked. I was in the cloister area of school and someone came up to me and broke my arm.
I did two years at that school. It got to the point where my stuff had been set alight, the physical violence hadn’t stopped, and I was getting really quite depressed with it all.
“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” Desmond Tutu
We were trying to look for another school, but we lived in a very rural part of Ireland. I was in my middle year and in the third year you take your exams so moving wasn’t ideal.
I had pretty much hit rock bottom and then an opportunity arose for me to move back to the UK, although it meant that I’d be leaving my parents behind. And that’s what I did, at the age of 15, I returned.
My one focus was getting my GCSEs and going to college. I studied a lot at home and came out with 8 GCSEs – 6 Bs and 2 Cs.
I found college very different and a challenge. I was the only girl in 32 boys because I took a computing course. Computing is the one thing I’m good at but at this point I still had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.
I got a lot of unwanted attention in college and it was difficult. The bullying wasn’t as physical as in Ireland, but it certainly wasn’t easy. I’d fought so hard to get there and I started wondering if I’d done the wrong thing. I just got to the point where I didn’t even really want to even be at college anymore.
Then I met TeeJay and took a personal development course.
“There was never a night or a problem that could defeat sunrise or hope.” Bernard Williams
Rediscovering happiness and how to find hope
The course broke me – but it built me back up 10,000 times stronger. It made me talk about truths that I never really wanted to admit but without admitting it, I never would have moved on. For the first time in a very long time, I made friends.
I still wasn’t 100% sure that I wanted to do computing, but I knew A-Levels and completing my education was the way forward. It gave me that extra strength to carry on and it gave me the extra motivation to ask for help. It really it gave me that drive again. That was something I hadn’t had in a long, long time and it gave me confidence.
“When you have confidence, you can do anything.” Sloane Stephens
I was this shy little thing that wouldn’t come out of the corner and hated anything but the deepest of dark, dark then I realised that there is more to life than this. I can stick my head out once in a while and say hello.
So, as of 17, I got my grades with 2 As and a C at A-level.
I realised that life wasn’t perfect HD quality, but there is a world out there. What I wanted to achieve was achievable. I started to see ‘me’ for the first time in years. I realised that I was happy and bubbly and was someone who could make friends.
Is bullying an issue you’ve come across?
Are you a parent, carer or teacher concerned about bullying? Don’t ignore it. Transforming angry, confused and lost young people and restoring hope is something we can help with.
Choose the life you want to lead
Emma’s story shows us that we’re not always defined by our past and we don’t have to stay in the dark. It is possible to choose the life you want to lead. What are you looking forward to achieving? Why not share your thoughts with our social media community or drop me an email – I’d love to hear from you.
Until next time, stay strong, stay true and go for it – you can do it.