Resilience – start your resilience journey today [Part 2]

Would it shock you to learn that you have around 60,000 thoughts every single day? That constant chatter inside your head can be lethal, so learning to keep the negative voice at bay can make you more resilient.

In my last blog we talked in depth about the challenges life throws at you and how these challenges can add to the pressures you experience as a teenager. Studying for exams, the burden of parents (who really do have your best interests at heart) wanting you to perform well at school or college, and the complications of friendships, potential bullying and body image.

These constant stresses can build up to the point that you feel like a bottle of pop ready to burst. But let’s not get to burst point. By building resilience you can approach each challenge with a newfound calmness. You can handle life and you can handle it well.

Key attributes to being resilient

There are several ways to work on your resilience. It is a learned skill with no time constraints and no grade at the end of it. In fact, you can continue to build and build your resilience as you grow – imagine a life where you’re invisible. Pretty good eh?

To kick-start your journey to build resilience, think about the following steps:

1. Make positive connections and build your social support network

You become more in tune with this as you get older but the people around you need to be positive and inspirational. Friends, family and role models need to treat you well, respect your opinions and support you when needed. Are there people in your life now that are negative in any way? If so, maybe you could ease them out of your life somehow.

2. Avoid viewing a crisis as an unbeatable challenge

Even in situations you can’t control, you can still have a say about your own emotions. A problematic task or situation will never continue forever so choose to see them as a small obstacle that you will overcome in no time. Focus on seeing a positive outcome.

3. Accept that change is a natural and unavoidable part of life

Change is inevitable but that doesn’t alter the fact that many of us fear change and start to construct resistance barriers. This could be you. When was the last time you fought against change? A healthy mindset is to accept change, whatever it might be, to see opportunity in change and to focus on what you can gain from it. Everything happens for a reason and you will always come out on top if you visualise this.

4. Set and move towards your (realistic) goals

Take a deep breath, clear your mind and ask yourself what you really want out of life. What do you need to achieve in your exams? Who do you need to speak to? What experience do you need to gain? Set small goals that take you on a journey to achieve bigger goals. This is a brilliant approach to have.

5. Take decisive action to help you face your challenges

I’ll say one thing here, learn to trust your gut and never question what you believe to be right. This is such a confidence building trait to have. Find it and nurture it.

6. Look for opportunities to discover yourself

Do you feel lost about your future or your purpose in life? Talk to people you admire. Explore activities, careers or information that you feel connected to. Develop those feelings of excitement. Investigate what you find curious. This will all lead to a richer life and one where you feel happier and more secure.

7. Nurture a positive view of yourself and your abilities

I will say this once for you to repeat over and over again and believe it because it’s the truth:

“I am unique. I am shaped by my experiences, future desires, attitudes and behaviours and it defines my personality. I am remarkable because of this. Everyone is different and that’s OK.”

8. Keep things in perspective and in context

All too often you can view yourself as if it were through frosted glass. It’s distorted, an incomplete vision of the true you. The same goes for situations where you feel nervous, angry and uncertain. The intentions of people or the objectives of a situation can become misleading. Refrain from jumping to conclusions and worrying about something that might never happen.

9. Maintain a hopeful outlook on life

Always keep your glass half full. In fact, keep it at three quarters full. You can achieve anything if you put your mind to it.

10. Take care of yourself and be kind

You are number one and always should be. If you love yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin, there’ll be plenty of love left for those around you. And they will feel your positive energy and want to be around you.

Stay positive and use these simple steps every day as your blueprint to growing up and I guarantee you’ll love your life.

Keep a journal to help you stay or get back on track.

Choose the life you want to lead 

For regular tips on how to stand tall against the pressures of life and to help your resilience against specific teenage problems, join our regular newsletter here – it’s packed full of ideas, cool activities and simple steps you can take to ensure you stay strong, independent and in control of your life.

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I look forward to your comments, have a truly incredible week and stay amazing.